Stem Cells Cure Homos

A pushmi-pullyu controversy seems to be roiling on the fundamentalist right among those that live their lives as if the more religious a person is, the more righteous he (or she) is, and has the power to make decision regarding someone else. A rumor is circulating that stem cell research could lead to a cure for homosexuality.

While these people had no qualms about overlooking the hopes and dreams of those suffering from Parkinson's disease, spinal cord injuries, and Alzheimer's, they found themselves in a dilemma about a possible cure for gays. Two great causes diametrically opposed: what are they going to do?

Another memo has leaked from the inner sanctum for strategic planning that says members should not get worked up over the possibility, and that it is just a rumor anyway.

Many of the most faithful members believe a cure for homosexuality should be viewed as divine intervention and the opportunity to turn gays to a proper lifestyle should not be missed. The memo agrees that having to choose between killing unborn babies to save gays or preserving the unborn and allowing gays to foppishly flourish is one to test the judgment of Solomon, but the faithful should keep their eyes on the prize, their minds on the sign, and their souls on the goal. They even invoke their struggle to keep Terri Shiavo hooked to machines.

It's their ultimate goal for all those frozen embryos that is so scary – scarier than the idea of curing someone who is not sick. Do you think stem cells could cure religious intolerance?

I doubt it. Religious intolerance is the cross we all must bear.