Two-Brained Again

I grow up learning all this liberal moralism about the self-evident truths of equality extended to the sexes. Later, I learn there is a difference in our brains – the fact of which I was very much experiencing first hand during a crucial period of development. As a young boy, receiving a first rate American education with access to the Playboy Philosophy, I took the politically correctness of it completely. I bought the whole bit.

Girls are just like boys but with different body parts. And so I figured like boys, they want to use those body parts a soon as possible. How wrong can a guy be? If I had only known.

And now I come to learn conservatives and liberals got different brains. Who would of thought? Oh yea, the liberals would. That’s what the results say, so unless I got my summary wrong about the summary appearing in the press, of the summary appearing in the scientific journal (to which I don’t have access and probably wouldn’t understand, anyway), liberals anticipated or were more ready to accept the two-brained politicos.

Following this line of logic, liberals must have known about two-brained sexes. Does that mean I’m not a liberal since I didn’t catch on until I heard about it? But when I did hear about two-brained gendering, I said, “Well that explains it. Now I understand what I have been experiencing personally all these years.” If I had only known.

I’ve taken the Political Typology test twice over at that Pew thingy and was judged a liberal. I considered myself a moderate conservative but the test said I was a liberal – twice. And there was a span of a year or two between the tests. So, I supposed I’m a liberal. If it’s true, this latest findings says I should be hard wired to accept the sudden change in political philosophy.

What I don’t like seeing is the repeated assumption that the results infer a lower intelligence in conservatives as a group. This idea has been around long before we knew about the two brains of politics. Everyone wants to seize this report as physical proof of the lower intelligence of conservatives.

However, the results prove something entirely different. Lyndon Johnson once said that if you can’t walk into a room and know who is on your side and who isn’t, you shouldn’t be in politics. How do you measure that on an IQ test? I know of guys who are doing well to answer their emails and spreadsheets are foreign territory to them, and yet they are the life of the party. How do you measure the ability to win friends and influence people on an IQ test?

Wouldn’t it be something that the latest results are true, and there are two brains? What if one of those brains, the liberal one, test better in IQ test than the other, the conservative one? What if the IQ test is a test for the liberal brain and the conservative brain is going untested at what it does best?

While liberals with their hard-wired capabilities grasped the significance of mass communication long before the conservatives did, once the conservatives assimilate the medium, they have proved themselves past masters at it. The liberals are the ones with all the intelligence but the conservatives keep beating them at the polls. Unwavering familiarity gives those who are wired to do so an advantage and richness for normalcy that those not wired to do so can only appreciate. Because of the tendency for unwavering thoughts, conservatives feel the patriotism and communal emotions liberals can only imagine.

These latest results on political two-brains might explain liberal ideas becoming conservative foundations.

At any rate, it does explain what I’m seeing in political behavior just as the two brains of the sexes explain the looks I got when I suggested what was obvious to the brain I was using.